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My Ayahuasca Experience: 100 Hours of Therapy in a Single Night

My ayahuasca experience changed my life.  But, it wasn’t without dangers.

If you’re thinking about doing ayahuasca, do your research first.

I’ve written the most comprehensive guide to ayahuasca to help you.

If you want to know what to expect from the experience, read on.

I’m alone, in a dark forest in Mexico and I’m scared.

forest

I’m trying to convince myself that everything is OK.

But I know I can’t control this situation.

And that terrifies me.

I have that feeling you get on a rollercoaster.

The quiet, reluctant, yet dramatic approach before everything goes crazy.

rollercoaster

I’m strapped in. There’s no turning back.

Before I’m ready, I’m catapulted into a kaleidoscope of colours, patterns and lights.  

It feels like sticking your head out the window on the freeway.

I’m shaking hard and sweating intensely at the same time. 

A carousel of visions appears.

As it spins, I see glimpses of different moments from my life. Rewind an hour and you’ll find me at a “Retreat”.

It’s 20 minutes outside of Cancun, Mexico (where I’m living for 6 months).

I drank a psychedelic brew called “Ayahuasca” that took me on a earth-shattering, but transformative journey.

The Morning After Ayahuasca

I feel like I downloaded 10 years of wisdom in a single night.

It changed my life.

Easily the best, most transformative process of anything I’ve ever done.

And I’ve done a lot.

Over the years, I’ve easily spent £50k+ on:

  • Mentors
  • Courses
  • Seminars
  • Books
  • Coaches

I never found what I was looking for.

I guess I never even knew what I was looking for.

But with ayahuasca, I found it.

And so much more..

How I Found Myself Here

I found myself here by chance.

It was a Tuesday night, I was in the kitchen.

My girlfriend, Miriam, tells me there’s an Ayahuasca ceremony next week.

She asks if I want to go. She’s been before.

I remember being at lunch with her and her sister, Karla recently.

They both spoke excitedly about how ayahuasca changed their lives.

Before I know it, my mouth has said “Yes”.

And so its done.

And from that moment onwards, the low-level anxiety began.

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How I Discovered Ayahuasca

I’m not sure where I first heard about ayahuasca. 

It’s always been something on my radar, but not something I ever looked into.

I was always hesitant when it came to psychedelics.  

Being locked in a “bad trip” for 8 hours terrified me.

What if it was so bad I jump out of a window?

…or choke on my own vomit and die?

Moving Out of The “Billionaires Playground

dubai-marina
Dubai Marina

I lived and worked in Dubai for 14 months. 

It was one of the most intense, hardest periods of my life:

  • Working 10-16 hours a day, 6 days a week
  • Travelling to India every month, usually on my “day off” – completely draining
  • Starting afresh in a new country with very different rules to England

…and struggling being away from everything and everyone I know.

Heading To The Caribbean

I went back to London for a while, to reconnect with my roots. 

Once that was done, I decided to head off on my travels again.

This time to the Caribbean and South America.

It was at this point I remembered watching “DMT: The Spirit Molecule” on Netflix.

The film was full of respected scientists.

They were all raving about DMT giving life-changing visions.

ayahuasca experience

When I heard ayahuasca contains DMT, I knew I’d encounter it during my travels.

A week before I left London, I went to stay with my friend Steph from Project Glow.  She’s my go-to person for anything personal development.

Like me, she’s tried almost everything and always has an intelligent perspective that I value.

I mentioned visiting Peru and maybe “doing” ayahuasca, she immediately sat me down and made me watch this:

ayahuasca experience essentials

One Week Before My Ayahuasca Ceremony

In the weeks running up to the ceremony, it’s important to eat a clean diet. 

You can see the full diet plan here in my full Ayahuasca Guide here

Being Vegan for the past 16 months meant I was in pretty good shape. I also did a juice-only cleanse for 18 days while I was in Miami.

Lunch during my Miami trip.
Lunch during my Miami trip.

Lunch during my Miami trip. As soon as I reached Colombia and the Dutch Antilles I was back to my usual self.

Eating whatever I wanted again.

Back in Cancun, I started the juice diet again. I did it for 5 days.

Avoiding Tacos & Tortas to stay healthy in Cancun.
Avoiding Tacos & Tortas to stay healthy in Cancun.

Avoiding Tacos & Tortas to stay healthy in Cancun.

The day of the ceremony was Friday.  

On that day, you only drink water. 

Ayahuasca Ceremony Day

Friday is here.

After water-fasting all day, I collect our hire car (that cost 50 cents to hire 🤷‍♂️).

ayahuasca mexico
ayahuasca mexico

We start the 40 minute drive to the edge of Cancun.

During the drive, I ask Miriam way too many questions.

In my head I’m asking them in a way that sounds calm and cool.  

In reality, she can tell I’m shitting hot bricks.

As the “minutes to arrival” clock on my Google Maps counts down, my stomach tightens. I get quieter.

We’re here.

Entering The Forest

There’s a gate with a security guard. We tell him we’re here for “The Ceremony” and he ushers us inside.

We drive along this short tree-lined, bumpy road to the retreat.

Walking Into The Unknown

I park the car outside the retreat.   We walk through the gates.

I get a good look at the place where I’ll be handing over my safety and “letting go” for probably the first time in my life.

There’s accommodation for the week long retreat.

ayahuasca cancun
ayahuasca mexico
ayahuasca mexico

As we walk the path to the ceremony room, I see a temazcal “sweat lodge”.

We arrive and meet the people already there.

Meeting The Shaman

I meet Arturo. the shaman who conducts the ceremony.

Arturo hugs me and says “Welcome Home, Brother”.

I feel better instantly.

He looks “wise” and gives off that energy that everything’s going to be OK.

Next is Arturo’s wife, Amina. She runs the ceremony with him.

I meet the other few people who are there.

All are really friendly and welcoming and my anxiety goes down a few notches.

My shaman: Arturo and his wife Amina.

Entering The Ceremony Room

The Ceremony Room, Cancun, Mexico.
The Ayahuasca Ceremony Room, Cancun, Mexico.

We take our shoes off and walk into the ceremony room to find a place.

Two mats near the toilets are the best option.

From what I’ve read, things can get, well, explosive.

Ahem.

My area consists of:

  • Yoga mat
  • Bucket
  • Roll of tissue

A friendly face brings us blankets and pillows.

I start making a bed for the night.

I feel happy I’ve got something to do to stop me from thinking too much.

Little did I know, this is the equivalent of writing “NEWBIE” on my forehead in permanent marker.

An ayahuasca experience and sleep don’t go together.

Also, you sit upright for most of the night.

When you lay flat, the blood rushes to the head, and the experience is stronger.

I remake my bed to try to look like I know what I’m doing.

Meeting The Other Participants

The rest of the participants arrive and I’m surprised.

Of course there’s the “hippy types”. 

But there’s also “regular people” – whatever that means.  

Now I’m not sure which camp I fall into?  

Does being at this ceremony mean I’m now a certified hippy too?

Maybe. 

My next car maybe?
My next car maybe?

There are 12 of us in total, including the shaman and wife.  

We’re in the circular ceremony hut.  This is where my experience will happen.

Yoga mats around the circumference, fire in the middle with candles around it.

The Pre-Ayahuasca Ceremony Rituals

The ceremony is getting closer.

I’m feeling excited but anxious.  I’m making small talk, but I really just want to be with my thoughts. 

I breathe deeply to steady myself. 

#1 – Smoking With The Shaman, Tears and a Puke Bucket

I watch as people go one by one, to sit in front of the shaman. 

He puts something into a pipe and lights it.

Inserting one end into the participants nose, he blows the smoke through the pipe.

ayahuasca experience rape-tobacco
Look at the guy on the right. That’s what you can expect.

Chests explode with deep coughs.  

Eyes start streaming.

They walk back to their mats and begin coughing up their guts and spitting into their buckets. I ask what is in the pipe.

It’s called Rapé, pronounced ra-pay (read more about it here).

I’m up next. 

I sit before the shaman. 

Amina reminds him I’m a newbie. He goes easy on the smoke.

As he prepares it, Amina tells me it clears the sinuses. It balances the two hemispheres of the brain (right brain/left brain).

brain-hemispheres
Ayahi

The shaman tells me to exhale at the same time he blows the smoke up my nose.

I do as I’m told.

He blows and I feel a burning sensation in my nose and forehead.

My eyes water a little.

I’m told to go back to my mat and sit with my head back so it clears my sinuses and head.

I sit with my back against the shoulder high, grey concrete wall.

Head back, resting on my neck pillow.

My sinuses (which are always blocked) start to loosen up.

My breathing gets easier.

I clear my nose and throat into my bucket.

Despite that, I feel good.

#2 – The Pre-Ceremony Instructions

I understand 50% of the (probably very important) instructions.  

Part of me feels like I need to know this stuff.  

The other part tells me to “let go” and stop trying to control everything.

I’ve been having online Spanish lessons every day with my teacher, Oswaldo from Venezuela.  

It helps, but I miss a good chunk of the info.

The friendly faced Amina walks over and sits with me.

She tells me everyone else here has done the ceremony before, so most of the introduction has been skipped.

Apprehension rising. I see myself on BBC News:

breaking-news

Amina tells me she’s here to give me the instructions personally, in English.

Apprehension disappears.

Here’s what she tells me:

#3 – Choose A Question You Want Answering

Ayahuasca can answer deep personal questions.

I wanted to get answers to the questions that keep me awake at night.

I know the question I want to ask.

It’s plagued my thoughts for years.

My question is:

“Show me what’s holding me back from
reaching my potential”

As I think about it, I get a flashback.

I remember all of school report cards.  

They all had a phase I heard that so much it felt like my tag line:

report-card
This was a familiar sight for my poor parents.

I’ve always felt like I was driving “with the handbrake on” – making progress, but painfully slowly.

Achieving way less than I’m capable of.

My greatest fear has always been (and is still) “dying with the music still inside me”.

#4- The 4 “Golden Rules” To Have a Good Experience

I hear Amina say, “This is very important” and it snaps me back to reality.

She tells me there are 4 things to remember throughout the process:

I do my best to “carve” these rules into my memory. 

It feels like they might save me.

#5- Ceremony Etiquette

Amina continues with the rest of the “rules”:

Feeling reassured and grateful, Amina leaves. 

I give Miriam a look reassuring her I’m feeling good. 

And it begins.

The Ceremony Begins

I’m confused.

The shaman is speaking in a mix of:

  • Spanish
  • English
  • Shipibo (ancient dialect)

I think he’s saying a prayer.

To attract good spirits and keep out the bad.

Amina steps in to offer translation in English:

I watch the 10 people before me closely.  I’ve memorised what to do so I don’t “get it wrong”.

It’s my turn.

I walk slowly and kneel before the shaman.

He pours from a large plastic bottle, into a metal cup. 

My ayahuasca experience is about to get real.

The Question I Ask “Mother Ayahuasca”

I hold the cup to my chest.

I close my eyes and ask my question:

“Show me what’s holding me back from
reaching my potential”

I open my eyes and raise the cup to the heavens.

I say “Por La Vida” and knock back the cup in one movement.

The liquid fills my mouth.

Its way more “volume” than I expected.

My mouth is full and I’m scared of spitting it out in front of these 11 strangers.

I keep my head back and gulp it down in one big, loud sip.

ayahuasca-cup
Drinking from the ayahuasca cup.

It tastes better than people described it.

“Earthy” and bitter, but not unpleasant.

Like old, burned coffee, with dry mud, blended until smooth and served chilled.

That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? 🤣

Note: If you want to know more about the taste go here

Waiting For The Hallucinations To Begin

I return to my yoga mat – my “home” for the night.

I adjust my cushions and I sit.

No going back now.

After a while, the lights go off.

We’re sitting in pitch black darkness.

The jungle around us bristles with life. The wind stokes the leaves on the trees.

Every now and again I can hear an airplane flying over us, making its way out of Cancun International Airport.

I can only see the silhouettes of shoulders and heads above the circular wall.

After 20 minutes, I’m leaning against the wall.

I’m really disappointed.

Nothing happened.

I curse my high tolerance to stimulants. Years of super strong coffee and pre-workout powders mean its not working.

I tell myself I’ll get more medicine when they offer it.

And then it hits me….

Holy Sh*t! Where’s The Exit?

It doesn’t start with much.

My eyes are closed. All I can see is blackness.

Suddenly, a spark of white light appears in the darkness.

It fizzles out like the end of a sparkler on fireworks night.

It lasts just a second or two.

20 seconds later, there’s another one.

This time it lasts longer.

And then, I’m thrown full scale into a mind-bending, hallucinogenic reality.

I start seeing something like a roulette table.

It’s spinning at a thousand miles an hour.

Despite that, I somehow “know” it’s full of visions, memories, feelings, experiences from my life.

It’s like a Netflix of my life.

Each square is a different “movie” – a moment from my life.

netflix

If you’ve ever heard people who nearly died tell you what they saw – this is it.

Each movie lasts for different amounts of time:

  • Some last seconds
  • Some last hours

Time doesn’t really exist here.

So who knows how long they really last.

In normal movies you watch for hours, until the emotional peak.

During the ayahuasca hallucinations, you’re catapulted right into an “emotional crescendo” and you feel EVERYTHING.

Deeply and instantly.

As each movie plays, my body reacts physically.

I sweat so hard I have to take my top off.

I’m suddenly so cold I’m shivering. Shaking hard under my blanket

Next I find I have tears in my eyes…

  • Sometimes tears of joy and gratitude
  • Sometimes tears of deep mourning

I find myself yawning a lot.

For a really long time.

I sense there’s a “learning” here for me.

My yawns are so frequent, and intense, it feels like my jaw is going to come off.

My yawns become an angry, animalistic face.

Like a lion opening its mouth wide and showing its teeth.

I notice I feel angry.

I usually bottle things up.

Avoid conflict.

All these feelings are coming to the surface.

I feel intense fatigue and tiredness. I dwell here for a while.

And then the lessons come to me.

What Ayahuasca Showed Me

Lesson #1 – I’ve Been Trying Way Too Hard, For Way Too Long

The yawning makes sense now.

I realise I’ve been trying so hard, for so long that I’m exhausted.

I’m tired of…

  • Being someone other than who I really am
  • Pushing so hard to “be successful”
  • Trying to control everything

I’m completely overwhelmed with fatigue.

I feel very weak.

This lasts for sometime, and then is gone in the blink of an eye.

Lesson #2 – I Miss My Dad

My world spins like a Vegas slot machine.

Memories flash up for a second, then disappear.

A vision starts to form.

I see my Dad’s face.

He comes to me, holds my face in his hands and tells me everything is going to be OK.

The vision shifts. I see the house in London I grew up in.

I see myself at age 11 or 12. I’m with my Dad.

We’re playing the Super Nintendo together.

One of the happiest memories of my childhood.

SNES

I see a book and pen next to me.

A huge smile comes over my face and I feel intense euphoria.

We used to always argue about who won more games. So I started bringing a book with me to record the results. 🤣

Collecting data and a focus on results was clearly in me from an early age!

I miss my Dad.

He’s 60 now and we never know how long we have with the people we love.

I make a mental promise to spend time with him when I’m back in the UK.

The vision shifts again.

Lesson #3 – I’ve Been Too Harsh With My Mum

I see my mum. My emotions shift completely.

I feel vulnerable, soft, a little scared.

mum

I think I’m feeling how she felt.

It’s helping me relate to her.

I’m “walking in her shoes” for probably the first time.

I realise I’ve often been too harsh on her.

Probably because I’ve been trying to “toughen her up” because the world can be rough and I worry about her.

But I realise now:

  • Her softness is her gift. It’s what I love about her.
  • She’s always did the best she could, even when we didn’t have money.
  • She’d made every situation fun or nice for me, with whatever she had.

I feel intense gratitude and love for her.

And in just a few minutes, I sense my relationship with her has shifted completely.

Lesson #4 – I’ve Been Too Judgemental With My Sister

sis

Next I see my sister.

She lives in Brisbane, Australia. I realise I haven’t spoken to her for so long.

Soon I realise I’ve also been too judgemental.

I haven’t supported her enough.

I mean, I’ve always tried to help her.

But I’ve never told her I’m proud of her.

Another mental promise is made – I need to call her.

I realise that family is so important and I need to be closer with them.

Instead of being on the other side of the world (South East Asia/South America) I feel like going back to Europe and having a base there.

Lesson #5 – One of My Friends is in Hospital

I get a pain inside my body and this message comes through:

“Someone is very sick. They haven’t told anyone. Check on them.”

I didn’t know who it was.

After the ceremony this happened. 🤯

I thought it was my best-friend in London, John.

After checking on him, he told me he’s fine.

I did the ceremony on 2nd August 2019, the very next morning, I checked my phone.

I found this message from my Graphic Designer, Jepren in the Philippines:

jepren-message
This message was waiting for me.

This message blew me away.

I started the ayahuasca ceremony at 9pm, I estimate this vision happened at 10pm.

The exact time range he was sick and in the hospital:

time-zone

Maybe we’re more connected than we realise.

Lesson #6 – I’ve Found “My Person”

I see my girlfriend, Miriam’s face.

I realise very clearly, that she really is my person.

She brings sunshine to my life. She brightens up everything.

miriam
Miriam

She instinctively knows what I need, even before I do.

And she gives it to me in that exact moment.

Though this relationship is new, there’s something different about this one.

I know this is the one for me.

I see her face and can feel her love.

My facial muscles relax, a smile appears on my face.

I “bathe” in this feeling of love for a few minutes.

It’s giving me life and restoring my energy.

Lesson #7 – Music is Powerful & Spirits Are Real

The shaman and his team play live music throughout the night.

Their songs are called icaros (learn more here) – traditional songs that are personal to each shaman.

ayahuasca-music

The songs have me spellbound. When I feel like I’m about to be sick, I focus on the beat of the drum. 

It “anchors” me. I feel grounded and it passes.

What I realise is, each song physically impacts my body. 

I later discovered this is exactly what they are designed to do.

It makes sense. 

  • As a baby, your mother singing a lullaby to you made you feel relaxed.
  • Driving while listening to Drum & Bass makes you drive 100% faster.
  • Listening to a song from your younger years “takes you back” emotionally.

These songs are so powerful they give me visions.

ayahuasca-third-eye
Ayahuasca opens your “third eye”

I can also hear 10- 20 people singing along with them. Except they’re not really there.

Some of the voices sound very old and wise, like the elders or ancestors.

Later research reveals something interesting – the icaros “bring in” the spirits of the shamans ancestors.

I’m convinced I was able to hear that and experienced it.

Even more bizarre, is the fact that the animals in the forest take part.

Through the night, different birds and animals are heard VERY CLEARLY.

I can’t understand any of the words, except for a few sections sung in Spanish and Englsh.

But the music is really beautiful.

It “speaks to my soul” – it’s the only way I can describe it.

Lesson #8 – The Answer To My Question

the-question

I haven’t even thought of my question since the ayahuasca took hold.

I’ve been so captivated by everything I’ve been shown.

Despite that, the answer becomes clear to me.

The answer starts simply:

“You’re not putting anything out into the world. This is robbing people of being helped by what you can share.”

Then the wisdom starts flooding me.

The trigger is a song the shaman and his team sing for me,

I haven’t moved in hours, I’m totally lost in my own world.

But I hear Amina tell me, “This song is for you Skye”.

The song is called Cielo – Spanish for “Sky”.

The chorus is drilled into my head:

“Tu eres la luz y la vida” – translated means “You are the light and the life”.

I get a wisdom bomb dropped on me.

Here’s what I discovered:

This rang true with something James Clear shared in an article I read a few days before the ceremony:

impact
How To Measure Your Impact.
Your impact is what you create, intersected with what the world sees. ~ James Clear Click To Tweet

I’ve always had this underlying fear of “dying with the music still inside me”.

Of not leaving anything behind.

No legacy. Which to me, feels like a life wasted.

I realise I need to create and publish more.

I laugh to myself, as a week ago I made this screensaver to remind me of what I need to do:

iphone-screen

Lesson #9 – My Words are My Power

I often know which words to choose.

And the right time to deliver them to:

  • Reassure
  • Ease pain
  • To light someone up

I realise I express myself better in writing.

Time to process and package my ideas is important. I get that when I write.

I see how my words can change lives.

My path is now clear.

Another mental note made:

  1. Start my blog
  2. Share what I know

Lesson #10 – Authenticity & Vulnerability Are Everything

brene-spectrum

When you share yourself with the world (and do it authentically), people respond.

We see someone so “in the moment” – it touches us.

Like Jalib Johnson in the New York Subway:

Totally authentic.

Totally vulnerable.

Eyes closed. Feeling every note.

We respond, even if it’s not our kind of music.

I think we appreciate that authenticity and vulnerability, because we’re seeking it within ourselves.

Dr Demartini (one of my mentors) says we attach value to things we believe we don’t have (voids):

demartini

When we see someone being authentic, we get to experience what that feels like for just a few moments.

I make another mental promise:

  • To share myself and my work fully
  • To not worry about what people think

Lesson #11 – Embrace Fear (Especially When Your World Falls Apart)

Mother Ayahuasca shows me the journey I’ve been on these past few years.

After my life fell apart in 2017, I gathered myself and rallied.

Go here if you want to know what happened.

The life I’ve created since then has been breathtaking.

I’m in love with my life now.

Ayahuasca shows me two things about my life:

The fear is always that you’ll go broke, but I’ve done it.

The odds were against me. Despite that, I turned it around and made something positive out of it.

I’m proud of myself.

fear

I realise I had to walk away from what everyone told me was a good life:

  • The corporate career in a Fortune 500 company
  • A new car every six months
  • A laptop and phone paid for by the company
  • A good salary plus annual bonuses
  • Working from home 5 days a week
  • Going to the office once every week or two
  • Staying in great hotels 
  • Eating at good restaurants 
  • Regular “all expenses paid” nights out
  • A three-floor townhouse 25 mins outside Central London 

…and so many other “badges of success”.

I had to be willing to give them all up.  

For something I didn’t even have clearly articulated in my mind.

I really had to leap and trust the net would appear.

leap-of-faith

So I leaped. And it caught me.

I realise I don’t acknowledge what I’ve achieved. I’m so future focused that I’m always already on the next thing.

I promise myself I’ll appreciate things more.

Savour them a little longer.

I feel completely peaceful for the first time in years. I no longer feel like I have to “be successful” – I already am.

The expectation lifts. Frustration evaporates. Anxiety eases.

I feel like myself again.

I feel grateful and fulfilled.

Getting Through The Night

Something strange happens during the night.

Time stops for you.

It feels like the longest night of your life.

long night

It almost seems like time stops, to allow you as long as you need to “do your work”.

I can’t explain it, but minutes feel like hours.

Years of experiences happen in seconds.

For the whole night, I don’t leave my yoga mat.

By now it’s 2am and the ayahuasca peak is tailing off. I lay down on my side.

Every now and again Amina comes over and whispers “Keep breathing”.

I hear Miriam call my name at one point. I’m not able to open my eyes.

The experience is so deep. I’m seeing and feeling everything.

ayahuasca-eyes

I know I’m making huge “progress”.

This is the thing I’ve been looking so long for.

Amina comes over and rubs my feet and body over my blanket.

At one point, she strokes my hand reassuringly.

Someone else brushes leaves over my body. I also vaguely feel someone blowing smoke over my body.

Later Miriam tells me its because I didn’t move for hours.

I thought I was moving every few minutes but apparently I was still the entire night.

The Experience Ends, But It’s Not Over

The ceremony is coming to a close.

I’m asked to move closer to the fire. Everyone sits around it.

I’m weak and I can barely stand. I use my arms to push myself to my feet.

Staggering awkwardly towards the fire, I worry I might stumble into it at any moment

Somehow, I make it to the fire.

fire

I Could Sleep for a Hundred Years

Miriam is on my right side and it feels good to see her again.

She asks me how I am.

I tell her I feel like I could sleep for a hundred years.

We laugh. It uses the last drops of energy I have.

We sit but I can’t keep my eyes open, the light is too bright.

I can keep them open for only a second or two at most.

They ask who had the first ceremony today. I raise my hand.

They say “Welcome to the family” – I say thank you with the little strength I have.

The ceremony closes. Miriam is holding me up as I’m weak.

I physically can’t even sit upright.

Coming Back To The Real World

We haven’t eaten in 36 hours.

A friendly face offers me fresh papaya. I take a single cube.

Biting it makes me feel sick.

The same bile/acid feeling I had during the ceremony returns.

Many people around me were throwing up violently during the ceremony.

I managed to hold my nausea.

But now I feel like I’m going to throw up. Somehow I manage to hold it and it passes.

papaya

Trying To Get Some Rest

With the ceremony closed, Miriam tells me its OK to go back to my mat and rest.

I practically crawl to my mat. I try to rest, but I can’t sleep.

It’s been the longest night ever. Time has stopped and I don’t know what time it is.

Every now and then I open my eyes and see the light slowly coming up

ayahuasca mexico bluestone

A dog barks in the background. He’s been barking for over 10 minutes.

Usually my blood would be boiling.

I realise that it doesn’t bother me anymore.

I’m not sure if the experience has changed me or I’m just so exhausted.

I suspect a combination of both.

Trying To Drive Home

After a while Miriam wakes me up and tells me it’s time to go.

I get up and try to walk, but my body has forgotten how to.

It’s like I have to teach myself again.

I walk like I’ve been in a car accident and I’m relearning how to use my legs.

Awkwardly stumbling in a drowsy daze.

We walk outside and stand by the car.

I’m sucking in big breaths of the cool, fresh morning air.

We hug and talk about our experiences.

She tells me the question she asked ayahuasca – “What is my path in life?”

I laugh when she tells me her ayahuasca visions kept showing her my face.

Good marketers can get everywhere. 😜

We both come out of the experience feeling more certain about each other:

  • We’re more grateful
  • Our love is deeper
  • Our bond is stronger

We’re both in a state of euphoria.

We are also in a state of hunger.

The last time we ate food was 6 days ago, the last juice we had was 2 days ago.

We get in the car. I make sure I’m OK to drive and we start the journey home.

The First Food For 8 Days

After getting to our apartment, we shower (which feels like being reborn).

We rest a little, lying on the bed.

We spend hours sharing our experiences with each other and feeling connected.

The first food is at Antojitos, a Vegan restaurant in Cancun.

I start with a natural pink Lemonade.

It burns my mouth and gives us both ulcers.

We order way too much food.

I order a Pambazos, an amazing Mexican dish.

pambazo

Here’s the ingredients (but my chorizo was a vegan version):

pambazos-ingredients

Tacos Milanese…

Image Credit: <a href"https://myfoodandfamily.com">My Food & Family</a>

Huarache…

Image Credit: <a href="https://daisybrandcom"> Daisy Brand</a>
Image Credit: Daisy Brand

It’s so good. But within 15 minutes, we both feel sick.

I can’t eat and my mouth is burning.

We find the solution in maracuya. A passion fruit blended so the seeds and “gel” of the fruit are inside.

maracuya

It’s perfect.

Cool, tasty and it soothes my mouth.

The Day After (No Sleep For 2 Days)

We spend most of the day in a dark room.

Bright lights and being around too many people is difficult. The post-ayahuasca guidelines mention this.

We talk a lot.

Remembering different visions and excitedly sharing them with each other.

The experience brought us closer.

It’s now 10pm on Saturday. We haven’t slept for 2 days.

Somehow we’re not tired.

The experience was so powerful, yet we feel rested.

But still tired at the same time. Like really fucking tired.

I can only describe it as feeling like a marathon winner. Tired yet elated.

Integrating Ayahuasca’s Lessons For Long-Term Results

ayahuasca-connection

The days and weeks after an ayahuasca ceremony, you need to observe very specific rules.

These rules allow you to “integrate” the experience.

My primary “lesson” was to reconnect with my family and start this blog.

By launching this blog, I achieve two things:

As I write these closing words, almost 2 weeks later, one thing is clear.

I can’t go back to how things once were.

And I don’t want to.

Ayahuasca was a shortcut to more personal growth than I’ve ever experienced.

BUT…it’s important you know this:

  • Ayahuasca is super powerful. It could overwhelm you if you’re not ready for it. Don’t rush things. It comes to you if and when you need it.
  • It won’t “fix” or cure you. Instead you get clarity of how to heal yourself. Then it’s on you to apply the lessons and do the work.
  • The healing doesn’t stop. Ayahuasca initiates a healing process that unfolds over time, it can take months or years.

For me, my ayahuasca experience was a pivotal moment in my life.

Ayahuasca was the single most transformative ritual of my life.

It’s not where I would start if you’ve not done any work on yourself.

But if you’ve done a lot of personal development work, it could be your next step.

After everything, I’ll say this:

After your ceremony ends, is where the real ceremony starts.

Life is the ceremony.

Ayahuasca shows you the door, but you have to walk through it.

Ayahuasca: The Definitive Guide

If you’re interested in learning more about Ayahuasca, I’ve got you.

I was so inspired by my experience I got really into it and wrote over 20,000 words about ayahuasca.

What I wrote, I hope is the most comprehensive guide to ayahuasca on the internet.

It should answer every question you have.

You can find it here: Ayahuasca: The Definitive Guide

Until next time.

Keep the faith, hold the vision, do the work.

Skye

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