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Why Finding Your Purpose is B.S

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About This Episode

Controversy Time: Finding your purpose is B.S.

Yep, I said it.

This one's been brewing for a while and finally I put my mind to the mic and dropped some thoughts on finding purpose.

It might be unconventional, but I think it will help you be happy and fulfilled even if you don't know what you're meant to do with your life.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

  • Why finding your purpose isn't as important as you think it is
  • How to be happy and fulfilled without ever finding your purpose
  • The #1 mistake people make when they start searching for meaning

And so much more...

Resource Mentioned In This Episode:

Episode Transcript

Hey, what's up everybody, it's April 10. And I'm recording this because I published a new blog post just two days ago. And the title of the blog post is Finding Your Purpose: What the Guru's Don't Want You To Know.

Now I wrote this because one of the most frequent questions I get is, how do I figure out my purpose? How do I know what to do with my life? And I see this every single day that there's good people who are motivated to do something with their life. And they're not starting because they haven't figured out what their purpose is.

And I want to reveal something to you. I don't know what my purpose is. And I've made this episode recorded this episode and wrote that blog post to tell you that you don't have to wait. So I'm going to walk you through that blog post. And I hope this is helpful for you. If it is, I'd love it if you could share this with anybody who needs this message. And it would really mean a lot to me if you could review this on the Apple iTunes Store.

All right. Well, with that said, let's get into it. So finding your purpose. Well, I'm going to start with some controversy here. I personally think that finding your purpose is bullshit. You've got these guys who from the stage are telling you, Hey, you guys, you need to find your calling, you need to find your purpose in life. And it you know, it feels like every single personal development book that we read, starts with discovering what we're here to do. And look, to be honest with you, if you're not one of those people who just knows, you know, like some people are born just knowing what they're here to do. You're pretty much out of luck.

The other people have that moment where they get that lightning bolt of inspiration. Often you hear the stories of entrepreneurs and they'll tell you, you know, I was on a train and it was rush hour, and it was really hot on there. And this thought came in and it just consumed me and I went home and I started writing and then I had the plan to build Microsoft or Apple or you know, whatever it is. That doesn't really happen to most people. In my experience.

What does happen to most people is they wait For that lightning bolt of inspiration, and life is pretty much on pause until they receive it. So what I see is quite toxic. what's supposed to be motivational in going to these seminars and reading these books actually makes you feel useless and your life is slipping away and you're pretty much on the sidelines just watching it happen.

You still have that desire inside of you to actually do something but the confusion of what to do is just overwhelming. Well, the purpose of this recording and of the blog post is to tell you that you don't have to wait you can be happy and fulfilled even if you never find your purpose. And if you'd prefer to read the blog post version of this you can find it at freethewageslave.com/finding-your-purpose that'sfreethewageslave.com/finding-your-purpose

Now listen, this is the message that I want to get across to you. You can be happy without a purpose and actually It's possible even if you don't have a clue what you're here to do. If you feel like there's a big fat hole inside the view, you're guessing your way through life hoping that it will become clear at some point.

Even if you dislike the work you do, and you just do it because you don't know what else to do. Even if you feel lazy, lost, guilty, useless. And maybe you find yourself saying things like, Well, look, no one will pay me to sit on the couch watching Netflix. And maybe you just wake up everyday tired, even though you sleep a lot, and you don't really do that much.

Well, before I tell you how things are going to work, let me tell you how I discovered this. And this really is going to reveal to you the number one mistake that I was making. And it's the number one mistake that most people make when trying to find their purpose. So listen, I'm the guy who's got 50 unread books constantly on the side and I'm still buying more. I've taken every single online quiz. I even know what type of shark I am Hammerhead in case you wondering.

I flew across the world on New Year's Day to attend a seminar because I couldn't wait for it to come to me. And various points in my life, I spent a month rent on mentors and coaches and look, some of it helped. But after all of it, but after all of it, I'm still no clear on my purpose.

I've got vague ideas like protecting the vulnerable, helping 10,000 people quit nine to five, launching an entrepreneurship Academy, opening an animal sanctuary. And you know what, maybe none of them my purpose, maybe all of them I don't really know at this point. And, you know, to be honest, it's always been like that. And here's what I think is the problem with all of that searching with every piece that you uncover. You go on another search.

So you find something that feels like your purpose. And then you go deep into that, and you then end up confused, because at some point, you realize, hey, maybe this isn't my purpose and you start to judge yourself. That can become self hatred. When that cycle is repeated over and over again, it becomes a toxic cycle. And, you know, despite that, what I've discovered is that there is an alternative that I don't really see anybody talking about. Everybody seems to be hung up on, hey, you have to find your purpose before you can, you know, move forward with your life.

So here's what I discovered. And it reveals how you can be happy without a purpose. And actually, it doesn't come from me some guy off the internet. It comes from a noted psychologist. And here it is, here's what everybody's getting wrong about finding your purpose. So where I discovered this was I was rereading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a couple of weeks back, and this quote just leapt off the page at me. And I quote, ultimately, men should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked in a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life to life.

He can only respond By being responsible Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, when I read that, I was like, Whoa, each man is questioned by life, instead of me questioning life, he can only respond by being responsible. It was like a total Mic drop moment. And listen, I don't really think I understood the full point that he's conveying. He's a mind far greater than mine. But I think he's saying is that life is going to show you what's important. And then you decide whether you go down that path or not.

So I started thinking after that, like some examples that have you know, people in my life and people that I've met over the years. So for example, maybe if you suffered something like domestic abuse, your purpose can become helping others avoid that same fate, that same thing you went through. That's a kind of moving away from motivation. In other cases, you're drawn to something like you might be drawn to the arts and you decide to dedicate yourself to that. That's definitely possible. But what I think that quote reveals Most of all, is that finding your purpose is a myth. I feel that it's just smoke and mirrors that keep us searching. While the personal development industry just milks us for more money.

There's always more courses, more books, more online master classes. And listen, if I'm being real, it's more frustration, more self doubt, and more feeling lost. So instead of what I consider to be chasing a ghost, here's something else that you can try. And here's my cheesy title that I came up with the simple process to be smile so hard, your cheeks hurt happy without finding your life purpose smile so hard, your cheeks hurt happy. I don't know when I wrote that. I just thought that sounds good. That sounds like something that one. So, what I really thought about of how do you be happy without finding your life purpose, and I really just thought about that for a long time.

And what I came up with is, life starts to feel good when you feel useful this morning at work cup earlier worked out, I got a lot of work done. And even though I finished way earlier than I usually did, I felt better because I felt useful. What I also realized is that when you dedicate yourself to something greater than yourself, you start to feel good. So to feel happy, to me, it's as simple as Hey, figure out what it is that you'd like to commit to. Even if it's only for now, it doesn't have to be this is what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. It can just be I'm, I'm called to this, I have a feeling inside me that I need to pursue that thing.

It might not be for my life, but I give myself permission to go down that path and I'm going to commit to it. So the question is, if that sounds good, how do you do it? Well, I will tell you the step one, is to stop searching and start listening. So if Viktor Frankl tells us that life demands a purpose from you, well then stop searching and start listening. Listen for life demanding that purpose from you. Pay attention. Forget that bolt of lightning purpose bore moment that probably doesn't exist. And instead just watch out for life's gentle cues. What are the things that are curious to you? What are the events that just keep on recurring in your

life? I think what you'll find is in those moments, you'll find the projects, the people, the careers and the causes that actually matter to you. Even if it's just in that moment. Listen, after 10 years of searching, that shift alone brought me a lot more peace and fulfillment than constantly reading another book and taking another quiz to try and figure out my purpose. And actually, I think you can get the same if you just go through a couple more exercises. So speaking of which step to tell you just forget being fancy. Your purpose doesn't need to win you a Nobel Peace Prize. You're probably not Elon Musk. Your purpose doesn't have to be saving humanity like elan's really look, if you're genuinely called to do something that big more power to you go ahead and do that I'm never going to kill anybody's dreams.

But on the other side, just make sure that you don't choose something that you think sounds good to other people or something that you're just not even going to be able to make a dent in. Like I want to save humanity to but I just don't have the resources or the ability to do that in the same way as Ilan. So I can do it in a different way. That is, you know, true to myself and I can make an impact and I can make a dent in so I don't feel like a failure. I don't feel demotivated. So keep it simple. Focus on how you live as a person, things that you can actually act on like right now today. What could you actually act on today? So some examples it could be, maybe you just want to be the best mother. And if you look to history, Rose Kennedy, the mother to JFK and Bobby Kennedy, that was her thing. It was raising world leaders being the best mother to raise world leaders.

Maybe your purpose is just to heal others as simple as that. And you could do that today by saying Some kind words to somebody texting, something thoughtful, maybe sending some books to people you know, that need help, and any other small gestures of care. So to me, that purpose, whatever that means is things you can do today. So stay with simple, do things that you can live every single day. Because you can actually start making a difference in the world today. And, you know, that boosts your self esteem far more than any $97 unlock your confidence code course will, you know. Alright, so let's get into some of the practical stuff.

How do you solve your finding your purpose problem? So listen, you might be here thinking all right, Skye, you know, I'm sold on this. It sounds good. But you might have questions. And, look, you're going to know what to do with your life. In just a few moments as we go through these questions. What I can't do is promise you that it will last forever. But I can tell you that it is going to be what you need to do right now. And you can always come back to this Process later when it's time to figure out the next direction that you'd like to go in. So I would recommend that you pause at this point, grab a coffee, get a pen and paper and get ready to answer some questions. So the first question, what are two qualities I most enjoy expressing in the world.

Now in the blog post version, there's a list of personal qualities. And you can just google a list of personal qualities, and you'll find a list and it's going to give you different qualities, different character traits, I want you to go through that list and choose to the resonate the most, if you have too many use this or that process. For example, let's say I choose compassion and curiosity as my two and I really got one on my list, so I can't have both compassion and curiosity will if someone forces me to choose one of them, which would when I would say compassion or curiosity, and I would go with compassion if it was You know, kindness and status, I'd go with kindness. So just by comparing the two, you'll feel which one is right for you. Keep doing that. For everything on your list, compare them against each other, until you're left with just two, and then write your two down.

Step two, I want you to make a list of your heroes. Now, you might say, Hey, I don't have heroes, but throughout your life, I'm sure you have, it could be, you know, a superhero or a sportsman. Maybe as you were younger, or you know, growing up, you admired somebody. Who did you want to be like, Who did you admire? who influenced you? Even if you thought like, you know, I could never be as great as Mahatma Gandhi, but he influences me because, you know, he's fair to everybody and he's kind whatever that is. Just make your list. Okay.

So for me, it was Judge Dredd. He protected the innocent and he dished out justice to people who needed it. It was Ryan Giggs. He was a winger for my team Manchester United. He was just such a true professional.

Cristiano Ronaldo and other Manchester United winger and I loved his relentless work ethic. Jay Abraham, a marketing legend, who is responsible for over $1 billion in sales throughout his career, a lot of it pre internet, which is impressive. And dr. john demartini, a genius who's changed millions of lives, mine included, and he's just a super, super smart person. Now, once you have your list, I want you to look for what's common. Now why I told you my list is because here's what's common on that list of people I just ran you through.

They're all high achievers, they're successful in their field. They all came from normal backgrounds. So that's attainable to someone like me from where I came from. They all stayed humble. They didn't become decks when they made it. Their true professionals they're hardworking and most of all, they're dedicated to mastering their craft.

And lastly, they brought joy to others and basically made the world a better place. So that's my list that's common. And once you have that list, and you can pause this right now if you need a few minutes to do it. Once you have that list, ask yourself this. Have those traits shown up in your life? Even if you haven't achieved as much of them have those qualities appeared at times. So for me, these people are high achievers. Well, I can definitely say that I strive for success in everything that I do. They came from normal backgrounds. I help people from normal backgrounds become successful with free the wage slave. They stayed humble. I definitely make a point of treating everybody equally from, you know, the hotel maid to the taxi driver, to everybody that I meet, everybody's completely equal.

They were true professionals. I always try to act professionally. And I put the work in to be the best these people all dedicated to mastery of their craft and I definitely try and do the same in the things that I do. And they all made the world a better place and I try to make the world Better, you know, free the wage slave and everything I do is completely free. That's my way of doing that. Look, I don't have the billions of pounds that they do. I don't have the fame that they have. But those same qualities of my heroes are alive in me. So I asked you, what about you?

What of the qualities from your heroes are present in your life. And now, here's an important thing that lists that you have of those traits. One final check, make sure that they're not traits that you wish were present. But they're traits that actually are present, which means somebody else could come in and look at your life after, you know, knowing you for a small period of time and be able to say, yeah, that's how I would describe that person.

That tells you that it's present in your life. It's not just wishful. Okay. All right. So question three and this is my favorite question. What is your favorite flavor of shit sandwich? Yes, shit sandwich. Thank you Mark Manson for that question. It's a simple concept and it's easy to remember because it's such a strange thing to think about strange and disgusting at the same time? Well, the concept is simple. everything sucks some of the time.

So whatever you do, you're going to actually invest a lot of time into it. Your work accounts for about 90,000 hours of your life. It's 10 years of your life, you're going to be working. And it's not all coffee and cupcakes, okay? Sometimes you have to kiss someone's ass, a lot of that work you're going to do is going to suck, you're going to do work that you know is pointless, there's probably going to be wasted at some point, you're going to have clients fire you maybe they're going to give you negative feedback if you're a freelancer.

And it just means that you have to care enough about what you do. Because otherwise you'll jacket in when those setbacks happen. So the question to really know what your favorite flavor of ship sandwich is, really, there's just an attention grabbing headline. And, you know, it's to get you to understand the concept. The real question here is what am I willing to work on? 10 hours a day. Every day, even when the work sucks for me, I'm always going to learn, I'm always going to teach and I'm always going to travel.

And that means even if I have to read boring books, I'll read them if they're important. I'm going to write a book that hopefully isn't boring. And I live in queue for hours in airports, even though I actually hate travel. Because I love being in those locations once I get there and working, living remote and immersing myself in the cultures. So the bottom line is this. If it's meaningful for you, you'll push through the tough stuff. So now you're probably wondering, Well, how do I know if it's meaningful? Here's another one from Mark Manson. Equally, semi disgusting. What makes you forget to eat and poop? This one comes up a lot in these type of guys where you're figuring out you know, what's the work I should be doing?

And it actually comes from the study of flow states. The guy who created that his name is Macau something with a lot of sees a lot of Z's, a lot of cases Russian or Ukrainian name, I'm not going to butcher his name by trying to pronounce it. But if you google flow states, you'll find it. So a flow state is those rare moments where you're like tunnel vision focus, and you're just killing it with not much effort to just super locked in. Or how do you know what makes you forget eat and poop or when you're in a flow state, is ask yourself this, what do I do? Where hours passed by and it feels like minutes, where you forget everything else, and you just go into your own world. And yes, where you forget to eat and poop for me, I can be doing a course or learning something. Or recording a podcast or something and then it's only after it's over. I realized Damn, I'm hungry or I need to go to the bathroom or hours have passed by. You will have those same things in your life if you pay attention.

Guys, that's it. Those questions alone those four questions are going to help you figure out what are those things that are important to you. And then They're different. Like, for me, it used to be video games. When I was a kid, when I was really young, I would spend hours there and I would forget to eat and poop. And even though some of the levels sucked, and I couldn't, you know, get past it I just carried on. And, you know, that was something that I've really just enjoyed at that time.

But it's not important to me now. And that's okay. Because walk in that path for a while allowed me to, I guess, get into exploring, even though it was a virtual world and I was exploring on a game. Now I explore the real world. Maybe that was part of the path that got me here. So it's okay. So what I hope for you in listening to this is that that endless search for finding your purpose is over. I want you to realize there's nothing wrong with you. You can unpause your life right now today. And you don't have to wait to figure out what you're here to do. I really, really hope that you can move forward after this. Even if you're only 5060 70% sure you're supposed to do walking that path is going to tell you the next Turn few to take, do the work, trust your gut and start walking my friends. I really hope this has been helpful for you. If you're still stuck and you need help, just reach out to me free the wage slave comm Ford slash contact, hit me up on social Instagram Ford slash free the wage slave. And I'll help you out for free.

So I really just want as many of you as possible to take this call to action to move forward to start taking those steps in your life. I really, really hope that this has been something that allows you to do that. And please, if this is helpful, share that with anybody else in your life that keeps asking you those same questions that needs this help.

Alright guys, thank you very much. Take care, and I'll see you all soon in another episode.

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