2017 was a rough year for me. At 32 years old, the life I’d drifted into started to fall apart over a 3 month period:
- My 12 year career working for Fortune 500 insurance companies ended
- My 12 year relationship was over
- I had to sell my house just outside London
- With my job gone, so was my new company car and I was driving a £400 Ford Fiesta with holes in the windscreen
- My favourite person in the world (my Grandmother, Rosanna) passed away as we watched on from her bedside over 6 days
- After getting home from my grandmothers funeral, someone has slashed all 4 of my tyres at the airport
- My appendix burst and gave me sepsis (blood poisoning) – 6 days in hospital without food caused me to lose almost 30 pounds
- I was broken mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically
The Breakthrough Experience was one of the most profound steps I took to get me out of the dark place I found myself in and back to my best.
How I Discovered Dr Demartini
I’d taken a client to a talk with Dr Demartini in London in 2016 and saw how it helped him.
I remember getting an email about the September 2017 Breakthrough Experience date and something inside me told me this was what I needed.
And wow, I was not disappointed!
The Breakthrough Experience changed my life so much that on New Years Day 2018, I took 3 flights (Amsterdam > London > Manchester > Houston) to spend 3 days with Dr Demartini at his “Master Planning for Life” program.
What happened was so profound that I’ve told many people, but I realised I’d never blogged about it so here’s everything that happened.
How The Breakthrough Experience Changed My Life
I attended The Breakthrough Experience in September 2017 at London’s Bloomsbury Hotel:
At The Breakthrough Experience we were introduced to “The Demartini Method”.
The Demartini Method is the jewel in Dr Demartini’s crown. To use the method, you have to choose an issue you want to break free from. I didn’t know what issue to deal with.
Surprisingly, none of my recent issues that had plagued me felt like they had any “charge”. Maybe I wasn’t ready to deal with them, maybe I’d already accepted them and knew they had to happen (and so was at peace with them).
Either way, I looked outside myself for an indication of where the pain might be. Dr Demartini mentioned one of the first places to start is with your “source relationships” – your parents.
I knew I had a bigger charge on my Dad at the time. I felt he had been selfish at times when I was growing up. I still had some anger towards him that coloured all of our interactions.
There was a frustration in our communication and I wanted to lose that so we could connect like a father and son again.
Part 1: The Demartini Method Form
With the issue identified I was introduced to the Demartini Method questions. Its a few pages of forms, with the questions spread across columns.
We were told to work on each column individually. Starting with column 1, read the question and then answer it.
For example “When have you been selfish?” – I’d remember a time (e.g. when I ate the last cookie instead of share it with my sister) and I’d write some initials to represent it.
e.g. “Didn’t share cookie with sister” becomes “DSCWS” and I’d write that in the column.
Then you repeat that again and again until the column is completely full (to the point of blackness):
I diligently completed each column by asking myself the questions. Here’s a simplified version of the questions and the perspective shift they gave me:
- When has your Dad been kind? (the opposite)
- When have I been selfish? (I have the same trait)
- When have I not been selfish? (I also have the opposite trait)
- How has me being selfish hurt me? (How has that trait limited me)
- In the moment my Dad was selfish, who at that exact moment demonstrated being kind? (Shows nothing was missing in that moment)
- How did my Dad being selfish benefited me? (Shows my perception was imbalanced)
Asking each question and having to write something down forced me to dig deep into myself. I had to force myself to see the true picture of what happened (not my one-sided illusion of it being “all bad”).
My brain suddenly reminded me of the time my Dad loaned me some money to buy a car so I didn’t have to get 3 buses to work every morning. Then it shot to a vision of him playing video games with me as a kid, even though he was busy trying to run his business.
For every example I found, I’d jot down the initials. After a few hours of running through each column, writing down every example the page became the black mess it was supposed to be.
Some columns had a lot of black writing, others had way less. That was a sign I still had an imbalanced perception. So I’d have to keep working on that column until every column was equally black.
Part 2: 1am & I Hate Dr Demartini
We’d started the Demartini Method worksheet around 3pm and I HATED the process.
I’d get a spurt of ideas, jot them down and then go blank. And I’d sit there for a long time asking myself the same question until I could find more examples.
I’d look for the Demartini facilitators who help out. I’d ask them to help me, they’d mostly just give me encouragement, but no answers. This was my process, no one else’s. Honestly, it was really uncomfortable. I wanted to throw a tantrum, say “fuck this” and walk out.
But in that discomfort came more answers.
Yet at 1am we still weren’t done. Dr Demartini was kinda pissed with us and told us to call it a day (we’d started at 9am).
The next morning, while everyone else got to sit in the seminar, myself and a band of other laggards were confined to a back room to finish.
3 hours later I finally had a complete form with all of the columns full.
Part 3: Too Weird To Be Real
After completing my form I was already feeling more balanced about the issue, but I wasn’t fully “done”.
The Demartini Method is a very logical process – but pain is emotional. We can use logic to understand why something happened, but unless we feel it, we can’t let it go.
The next part of the process works directly on the emotional side.
We were instructed to look around the room and choose someone who reminds you of the person you’ve been working on (e.g. my Dad). Dr Demartini said they don’t necessarily have to look like them, but could have the same energy.
After scanning the 100 or so people sitting behind me, my eyes locked on to a man with dark curly hair that reminded me of my Dad’s. Something called me to him.
After asking him to partner with me, I discovered some things about him that shocked me to my core:
- He was Italian (my Dad is half-Italian)
- His name was Gianluca, we have a Gianluca in our family
- He was sitting with a friend called Marco, we have a Marco in our family (the brother in law of Gianluca)
And it wasn’t only me who experienced these weird “coincidences” – The girl I was sat next to, Katie, chose a woman across the room called Linda. What they didn’t know was Linda had lost a daughter called Katie and Katie’s Mum’s name is Linda! 😳
If I didn’t witness it, I would never have believed what just happened.
And it was about to get weirder!
Part 4: The Breakthrough Happens
Gianluca and I are led into the backroom. We’re told to sit on the two chairs facing each other.
Our knees are touching. It feels too close considering we’ve only just met. We’re told to hold hands and look into each others eyes. I’m starting to feel even more uncomfortable.
The facilitator tells me to have a conversation with my Dad (who Gianluca represents). I’m list for words, but encouraged to just say how I feel. The words come to me and I tell my Dad I felt he was selfish when I was growing up, that he wasn’t there for us and how it was all about him.
Just saying these things out loud brings an array of pain and relief at the same time. I’m feeling things I didn’t know hurt so much. Things I’d long buried. Gianluca starts to respond to what I’m saying, telling me he did the best he could.
And the something very disturbing happens.
As I’m staring at Gianluca, his face starts to twist like a vortex and it morphs into my Dad’s face. Gianluca’s voice becomes my Dad’s. His energy, his eyes and everything about him becomes my Dad.
My breathing intensifies, my heart is pounding so hard I can hear its echo and the facilitators tell me to let go.
I tell my Dad everything I needed to say. He just smiles back at me lovingly. The facilitator asks me “What do you need to hear from your Dad to let this go?” and I answer “For him to tell me he’s proud of me”.
Gianluca/my Dad tells me “I’ve always been proud of you and I love you very much.” I collapse into a fit of tears, my head drops and I sob uncontrollably. I haven’t cried in years (other than a few private tears when my Grandma passed), yet here I am in a room with 50 people letting it all hang out.
And something magical happens. Our relationship healed! I can’t explain how or why, but it felt like when I forgave my Dad, the negative charge evaporated and our relationship was restored.
Our relationship became whole again.
Part 5: The Creepy & Unexplainable Continues
After the face morphing incident I was shell shocked. I couldn’t explain what had happened to me, I was afraid to explain it to anyone else in fear of being labelled crazy.
But my perspective of reality had shifted forever.
But it wasn’t over yet. Things were about to go from “holy shit” to “what the actual fuck” very soon.
It was around 5pm Sunday afternoon and The Breakthrough Experience was over. I was standing outside the venue talking to the girl who’d sat next to me that weekend.
She was telling me about her “reality shattering experience” and at that very moment I saw something even more shocking over her shoulder – a man coming out of the hotel entrance caught my attention.
It was my Dad, but 30 years younger!
He was unmistakable as he strolled down the few stairs, looked around a little bit and then walked back inside.
I was speechless. Shocked, a little scared and completely overwhelmed. Katie realised I’d stopped listening to her, I apologised, made my excuses and raced back inside to try to find my Dad.
He was nowhere to be seen and I never saw that man again.
Heading back inside, things continued to remain strange…
Part 6: A Strange 1 to 1 Experience With Dr Demartini
Confused and exhilarated I found myself alone in a corridor which gave me a moment to collect my thoughts.
I suddenly remembered I’d forgotten my Breakthrough Experience workbook. I walked back to the seminar room and upon entering the room I was horrified to discover the cleaners had already thrown it out!
They eventually found it after I begged them to check the bin bags. But then at the moment i got the booklet back, Dr Demartini waltzed into the room. It was just him, me and the cleaners.
He approached me and asked “Have you read the new Elon Musk book?” – waving it in his hand and offering it to me. I had the audiobook on my phone already so I automatically (and stupidly) said “No thanks, I’ve already read it.”.
I instantly kicked myself for not taking it and asking him to sign it. Dr Demartini wasn’t the least bit bothered. I thanked him for the weekend and left with my workbook, but no signed book from Dr Demartini.
The Weirdness Continues At Home
After The Breakthrough Experience I wanted more from Dr Demartini, so I purchased his book “The Values Factor“.
Instead of buying it new, I bought a used version on Amazon that cost just 1 penny. Why it was so cheap I have no idea.
When it arrived it looked normal, but when I opened it I was blown away. Inside it was signed by Dr Demartini!
Whilst I might not be Sarah, I couldn’t believe it. What are the odds of that? Nowhere did the seller mention it was signed, it was just 1 penny and it arrived on 7th October 2017 which was exactly 14 days since Dr Demartini offered me the book I turned down.
Part 7: Almost 3 Years Later & It Happened Again While Writing This!
As I’m writing this, I searched my iPhone’s pictures for the word “Book” to try to find the picture of the book signed by Dr D and and this picture of my Dad as a kid just came up!
Weirder still is the date on that pic – 17th September 2017, exactly 7 days before I attended The Breakthrough Experience!
I have no way to explain any of this. Many will think I’m reading too deeply into things, pulling coincidences and making meaning from them. Maybe, but what I know is the volume of synchronicities are too many to be mere coincidence.
It made me believe in the theory that everything is connected and that we can “pull in” energies and experiences like a magnet can pull something toward it.
My Grandma & Another Book Experience
The Breakthrough Experience came a few weeks after my Grandma, Rosanna passed.
I went to Breakthrough and around 4 weeks later I found myself in hospital with my appendix burst and sepsis slowly poisoning by blood
In the week that followed I sat in my hospital bed trying to get better so I could fly to Dubai to meet a client who’d invited me there for a 12 day “working retreat”.
I did everything I could to get better for that flight and my friends and family all helped. I managed to make it onto that Emirates flight and arrived in Dubai, weak but in one piece.
On the last day in Dubai we went for lunch and something caught my eye behind my client. As he was talking I tuned out and my attention was drawn to the woman sitting behind us.
She was highlighting a book (something I do with every book) and looking closer, I saw the book she was reading. It was Gary Zukav’s “The Seat of The Soul“.
My grandma had given me that book years ago and I never once opened it. Bizarrely after she passed, before I flew home from the funeral, my Uncle gave me another copy and she’d written a note inside on a post-it note.
I thought it strange she’d given me the book twice but didn’t think anything of it. Seeing it again now and being so drawn to it made me think I needed to take a closer look.
I remembered that book was at home and the moment I landed from the airport I went to that book and here’s what I found inside the original copy she’d given me:
Whilst it might well be a coincidence, it felt like a personal message I was being given. I felt my grandma close to me again in that moment.
The Breakthrough Experience had made me open to the spiritual side of life, something I’d always shunned in favour of the more practical. So to get that message meant something to me.
Her message read:
The Spiritual path is the quest for knowledge and the only knowledge that is worth pursuing is the knowledge of self.
A tear rolled down my cheek and I rejoiced in being able to share another moment with my beloved grandmother.
3 Years on From The Breakthrough Experience
If I’m being real with you, I haven’t done the Demartini Method much at all since the seminar.
I did a short Skype session with my homie Mike Hoad and a few times at Stephanie Hartwell‘s Project Glow workshops in 2018 but nothing since then.
Yet my life has been completely transformed.
The experience was so profound that my mindset has shifted immeasurably. I no longer hold resentment towards anyone, I no longer put anyone else above me or below me, I am more forgiving and empathetic – all because I can see both sides of every situation.
I can see the equal positive and negative in every situation – that gives me a well grounded, balanced perspective.
All of the friends I know who’ve done Breakthrough are the same. You can hear from them on our podcast to see how they look at the world:
- Mike Hoad – The client I sent to Demartini the year before I went, listen to how his life changed
- Stephanie Hartwell – Was Demartini’s main UK facilitator, met her at Breakthrough
- Helen Chorley – Met her at Stephanie’s workshop, long time Demartini student
I’ve since forced my sister to attend The Breakthrough Experience all the way in Brisbane, Australia – she also found it one of the best personal development experiences she’d ever had.
In closing, I’ll say this:
If you get the chance to attend Breakthrough, just go. Don’t think about the money, don’t do anything except book your place.
I promise you won’t regret it.
Have you been to Breakthrough? What was your experience?
Let me know in the comments below.